Monday, December 1, 2008

Heaven's Hotline

I hesitate
Just stare at th phone
I need to make this call
I pick it up and i almost put it down when i hear th tone
But She inside calms me
So i keep it to my ear,a bit far from it
C'mon it's not going to bite you
I wish i could be as composed as her
i slap myself
Act a woman for crying out loud i say more for She to hear it and think i'm strong
It goes through
I almost faint because i don't know what to say
I breath out when i realize it's prerecorded

Thank you for calling Heaven.Please note that duas to this tollfree location are free when calling from Dunya.All duas are recorded for safety and quality purposes.They will be publicly broadcast on Yawmul Akhira.
Please choose one of the following options.
If you are a devout muslim press 1,If you are a byname muslim and want to start practice press 2,if you are wicked and intending to stay that way press 3

My mind freezes.Which one was i again?

You haven't pressed anything.If you are a devout mus-
One.Right.I was one.
For Eman topup press 1.For pin and puk codes of your Eman press 2.To check your current Eman status press 3.To check if Osama is alive press 4

I was tempted to check if Osama was alive,especially since Fartun told me he's not
She,you know th witch up in my head,told me i wouldn't dare.You know why you called,now get through with it Mulki!

You haven't pressed anything.
If you want to talk to Allaah,press hash now
I press,thinking its some kinda joke

Please note that He wont answer you in words but in action.Use your words with consideration

My mind spins and im so scared
I am so not ready for this
I hear a distant 'please speak after th tone'
Fatigued i sit down on th floor

Allaah?You there?
It's me mulki
Ehm I don't know where to start
But You already know where i'm taking this
I've been incredibly stupid
i locked You out of my heart
And thought running back to get my old skin back was th best thing to do
Th niqabs too extreme
Th gloves too frightening
Th jilbab too long
i turned around and saw it was shaitan
but i wasnt surprised
he said what everybody else was thinking
or maybe he was th one that put that into peoples minds
mine too
i swear Allaah i did it for You and i loved it
I need tell You that
But still
When th shaitan handed me my old skin i looked down and saw that his comments about me was right
surely Allaah doesn't want me to suffer like this
I was a fool,and a joke
he offered a chinese screen with beautiful patterns to change my skin
i took it all off
down to th Eman
i meant to put it back when i changed
thats when he ate it
You should have seen-
I mean You saw, You knew
Devoured it like a wolf
Ripped it
Tore it
i then could see how unhealthy it looked

Whats worse is that he keeps talking to me
at first i always was tormented by it
but then it became normal
apart of me
he forgot to eat one thing
my mind

i keep having nightmares of Jahanam
i don't pray that much
nor fast
i didn't fast shawal
but You know that

You don't no one but i am going to die mentally,devour myself if You don't help me
I'm sorry if it sounds like a command
but i turn to You
and want an EMAN...

and indeed as soon as i put down that phone,i felt something in my chest.There it was,my Eman.Will die for it,because without it i'm dead

Th Noble Prophet said:
"A man was walking through th desert with his camel which was loaded with goods.Th camel happened to run away and th man in his utter sorrow laid down to die.He was later awoken by th camel standing next to him,nothing missing of th goods.He jumped up with joy and ecstacy and said:O Allaah,You are my servant and i am Your lord.He didn't know what he was saying out of sheer joy.Allaah beco
mes that happy when one of you turn back to Him"

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